I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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