I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
