On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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