I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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