i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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