the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
