she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize