you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
