i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
