Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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