First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
