I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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