We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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