it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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