i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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