I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
