Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
