look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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