I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
