Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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