come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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