Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
