you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize