I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im holly from the hills drunk
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
