I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
