i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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