Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
