I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
