first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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