i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
