just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
