by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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