Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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