There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
