so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
