idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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