do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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