so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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