Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
