Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
