I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
