And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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