have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
