just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
