my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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