Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
