Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
