There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
