that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
