I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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