The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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