he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
