Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i will never coherently bang her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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