I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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