Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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