I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
