Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
