Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
