dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
